The Newsieweds Game Show
by stress
Summary: A parody of the "Newly-weds Game Show"; When Stress takes over the show and has the newsies and their girls as the contestants, anything is possible!


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**Opening Credits:**

_Disclaimer – I do not own any of the original Newsies.  Period.  Also, I stake no claim to the "Newly-weds Game Show" nor Bob Eubanks (and his underwear).  I own me, Stress, and my obsession with Jack Kelly/Christian Bale if that counts.  *grins*_

I also want to give credit to the awesome girls who agreed to let me use them in this story!  Woo Hoo for you!

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**Introduction:**

**_(A girl with long blondish brown curls and cat-like green eyes, wearing a suit two sizes too big for her, walks out, grinning hugely as she struts into the middle of the set of the "Newsie-weds Game Show".)_**

**Stress: Hi there, and welcome to the "Newsie-weds Game Show"!  Due to a sudden need to run naked in the woods and explore his inner beauty, Bob Eubanks will be unable to be your host today.**

**_(Camera pans to show poor Bob, clad only in his undies, tied up and stashed inside the janitor's broom closet.)_**

**Stress: But, that's O.K. because I, Stress, will be your fun-filled host for this show!  Now, for all those first time watchers out there today, I'm just going to go over the rules real quick.  Today, there will be 8 contestants – 4 couples.  These couples spend so much time together it feels like they are married, so they've come here today to show each other, and all of our viewers, how well they know each other.  Are these couples spending their time talking or making – No, I'm not saying that word.**

**_(Tosses card she was reading to the ground.)_**

****

**_(A girl with messy red hair and dark green eyes, carrying a clipboard, pops out of thin air into the studio and picks up the tossed card.)_**

****

**Tunes: What's going on here?  Who the Hell are you?  And where's Bob?**

**Stress: Bob's running around the woods butt-naked trying to find his inner-Eubanks.**

**Tunes: ****_(Shrugs and makes a note on her clipboard) O.K., then.  But who are you?_**

**Stress: I am Stress, the new host of the "Newsie-weds Game Show".**

**Tunes: Well, Stress, my name is Tunes and I am the producer of the "Newsie-weds Game Show".  It's my job to make sure the show runs without a hitch and to keep the host in line. ****_(hands Stress the tossed card) What's the problem with this?_**

**Stress: ****_(crosses her arms over her chest) I refuse to say that word. _****_(points to something on the card)_**

****

**Tunes: ****_(shakes her head) Sorry, but it's in the contract that the host of the "Newsie-weds Game Show" must say that word at least 20 times an episode, or they don't get their bonus._**

Stress:  Fine, fine.  Anything to keep this job and get a bonus check.

**_(Tunes smiles and nods once before disappearing into a puff of smoke)_**

****

**Stress: Yeah, that was odd.  Anywho, back to my host-y type spiel: There will be 8 contestants, yadda yadda, 4 couples, blah blah blah.  Ahh, here we are.  The point of this show is to see how well these couples know each other.  Are these couples spending their time talking or making ****_(lowers voice considerably) whoopee._**

**Audience: What?**

**Stress: ****_(yells) WHOOPEE!!  There, are you happy?_**

**Audience: Yes!**

**Stress: ****_(blushing) Yeah, well, after each set of 4 contestants – girls first, then boys – answer a series of questions in the purple room backstage, we will bring them out and ask their significant other to reveal the answer they believe their partner to have chosen.  If the answers match, they get points.  At the end of the third and final round, the couple with the most points will win _****_(wiggles eyebrows suggestively) a really cool prize!_**

**Audience: ****_(cheers and screams)_**

****

**Stress: O.K., now it's time to introduce our couples.  First, we have Spin and her honey, Jake.**

**_(A petite girl with brown hair, blue eyes and freckles spattered on her cheeks walks out, holding the hand of a smiling boy with a black bowler hat)_**

**Stress: Welcome to the "Newsie-weds Game Show" Spin, Jake.  How are you?**

**Spin: We're good.**

**Jake: ****_(nods)_**

****

**Stress: O.K., you too.  You seem to be very happy over there.  How long have you two been together? **

**Spin: ****_(smiles) It's high on two years now, Stress._**

**Stress: Is that so, Jake?**

**Jake: ****_(nods)_**

****

**Stress:  So, Jake, you like Spin?**

**Jake:  ****_(nods)_**

****

**Stress: A lot?**

**Jake: ****_(nods harder)_**

**Stress: ****_(stops and thinks for a moment, then just blurts out what's on her mind)   Do you know how to talk, Jake?_**

**Jake: ****_(nods so hard that his hat falls to the ground)_**

****

**Spin: ****_(whispers to Stress when Jake bends over to pick up his fallen hat) After out little romp last night, he kind of lost his voice so he's saving it for later on during the show._**

**Stress:  Oh, O.K.  Just checking.  Now, let's meet some of your competition.  Come on out, Hades & Mush!**

**_(Another couple enters: a girl with long brown hair and dark eyes walks out, the arm of a muscular boy with curly dark hair slung protectively over her shoulder.)_**

**Stress: Hiya, guys.  How are you?**

**Hades & ****Mush: We're doing great, Stress.**

**Stress: ****_(looks puzzled) Umm, O.K..  Now, about you two, how long have you known each other?_**

**Hades:  Well, we've known each other for four years…**

**Mush: …but we've been dating for three years now.**

**Stress: ****_(smiles politely) Wow, three years?  Is that why the two of you are able to finish each other's sentence?_**

**Hades & ****Mush:  Nah, it's just a coincidence.**

**Stress: Yeah, O.K..  ****_(looks down at the card as she walks away from the couch where Hades and Mush are snuggling)  And, let's bring out Delaney and Skittery._**

**_(A girl with curly golden red hair and gold eyes drags out a boy with brown hair, wearing a deep scowl)_**

****

**Stress: Hi Delaney, how are you?**

**Delaney: I'm doing just fine, Stress.  You?**

**Stress: I'm great, thanks for asking!  But, uh, what's wrong with Skittery?**

**Delaney: ****_(whispers) He really didn't want to be on the show._**

**Stress: Why not?**

**Skittery: I'm grumpy, that's why.  Everybody likes to pick on the grumpy guy.  Are you going to pick on me too?**

**Delaney: ****_(whispers soothingly) No one is going to pick on you, honey._**

**Stress: ****_(mutters) O.K., so he's grumpy and paranoid.  Great. _****_(ignores Skittery's question and goes back to talking to Delaney) So, how long have you known each other?_**

**Delaney: ****_(looks back at Stress) Almost five years now, Stress._**

**Stress:  Wow.  And, it says right here that the two of you are actually the only newly-weds on the show here today.**

**Delaney: ****_(nods) Yup, that's right.  Me and Skittery got married a couple of months ago._**

**Stress: That's so nice.  Being stuck with Mr. Dumb-and-Glum for the rest of your life.  ****_(sighs to herself while ignoring the fact that Delaney is trying the get up to confront her, while Skittery is holding her back, this time he being the one whispering soothingly)  And, last but not least, here's Cats and Race!_**

**_(A leggy girl with shaggy reddish brown hair and big green eyes struts out, while a much shorter guy with dark hair and a smirk on his face stares up dreamily after her)_**

****

**Stress: ****_(blurts out) Wow, you guys must have lots of fun together seeing that Race is like eight inches shorter than you, Cats!_**

**Cats: Actually, I'm only six feet tall with these shoes on.  ****_(shows her shoes)  He's only like four inches shorter than me when we're lying down next to each other._**

**Race: Or on top of each other!**

**Stress: O.K. that was too much information for me… Anywho, how long have the two of you known each other?**

**Cats: Six months now.**

**Stress:  Not bad, not bad at all.  **

**Race: Want to bet that it lasts for another six months?**

**Stress: Umm… No.  I don't happen to be a compulsive gambler like you.**

**_(Upon her words, a little blue monster runs out and sprinkles miniature scratched off lottery tickets around her)_******

**Cats: Umm… What the Hell was that?**

**_(A girl with brownish reddish curly hair stands from her seat in the audience)_**

****

**Frizz – _a random audience member: I know what that thing was!_**

**Stress: ****_(tries to play dumb) What?_**

**Frizz: That was an LT monster – better known as a Lottery Ticket monster.  They are the tell-tale sign of a compulsive lottery ticket scratcher person.**

**_(Tunes re-appears, this time descending from the ceiling like they do in Star Trek.  You know, the whole "beam me up, Scotty" thing)_**

****

**Tunes:  Stress, may I have a word with you, please?**

**Stress: Sure thing.  I mean, let's forget that we have a game show to host and everything.**

**Tunes:  ****_(shoves her clipboard in Stress' face) It says right here that no monsters are allowed on the set during taping.  Did you want that bonus or not?_**

**Stress:  But it isn't mine!**

**_(Everyone in the audience, and the 8 contestants, all stare at her, disbelieving)_**

****

**Stress: I don't where it came from, but I'll get rid of it.  ****_(hands the little blue monster a dollar and points him in Tunes' direction.  He runs and jumps on her leg, disappearing with her when she leaves the set in a quiet pop) O.K., now that mess is over with, let's begin the game!_**

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**Author's Note: What do you guys think of the first chappy?  Funny?  No?  Stupid?  Just plain dumb?  What do you think?  I crave feedback!**


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